Pages of a Book!
by aiyen
Summary: SongficsDrabble "Regret"... What if death comes knocking and there's stil something you want to do? How would you feel if during your last hours all you can think of are the things you wanted to happen and might have happen if you just speak out?NxM..RxR
1. Too Late!

_Hello there! I'm back again. I decided to do this compilation of one shots because I have so many ideas every time I hear different songs. Although some stories are not base on songs, maybe just scenes that accidentally entered my mind, I've decided to include it here. _

Aiyen's Note:** Please enjoy this. This is dedicated to my super great cousin Jomarie more known as TeJ. Miss you so much…**

**Title:** Too Late!

**Author: **Aiyen

**Rating:** K+

**Pairing:** Natsumikan

**Song:** 25 minutes** -** Michael learns to rock

**Anime:** Gakuen Alice

**Disclaimer:** Sadly I could never ever own Gakuen Alice / Alice Academy

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_Text here - flashback / thoughts_

_Text here - lyrics of the song_

Text here - normal point of view

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**Too Late!**

_Natsume watched Mikan from afar. As usual he was again alone, sitting on a sakura tree while she was with her friends. She looked more happy than usual but still there was a hint of sadness, of course, it's Graduation Day! It seems like yesterday they were just running around, Mikan calling him a pervert! He just smirk with the thought._

"_Hey Natsume, Happy Graduation Day!" Mikan exclaimed._

_He only looked away. It's their last day in Alice Academy and tomorrow they would each be taking their own path to their own lives. He knew it was the last day he would be seeing her._

"_What's the matter?" Mikan asked Natsume when he didn't respond._

"_Are you o.k?" She continued to ask him. She knew there was something wrong and she wanted to comfort him._

"_Tch… Leave me alone polkadots." Natsume tried to sound annoyed._

"_Well… Sorry!" Mikan snob._

"_I'm be leaving then if I'm really such that of a nuisance to you!" She shouted at him._

_She started walking away but turned around for an important message she need to say to him._

"_By the way, there's a party this night on Hotaru's place. Everyone will be coming so…just come o.k!? She said forcefully._

_And then she just went away._

Slowly Natsume woke up when the bright lights hit his face. It was already daylight but he wanted to sleep more. He tried closing his eyes hoping to return to his deep slumber but always, Mikan occupied his thoughts. He decided to just sit down and rest for a while.

How foolish could he have been. Why did he let her go when she was still his'? All these years it was her he was longing for he realized.

He took a bath and prepared himself. His going to find Mikan no matter what.

_After some time I've finally made up my mind  
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine_

_I'm searching everywhere to find her again  
to tell her I love her  
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done_

He first went to Koko. They had been keeping in touch with each other. He was a well-known psychologist, he knew that, but he underestimated him when he saw how large his place was.

He tried to knock once, twice, thrice but to no use. He door was closed tightly as it was when he stepped on his doorsteps.

He tried calling him.

"Koko! Are you home?" He tried shouting while banging on the door.

"_Damn, this is so annoying_!" He thought when his screams seemed to lead to nothing.

He walked away and decided to pay Anna a visit. Just hoping she would know where Mikan was.

But again it was of no use.

He tried Nonoko, Sumire, Anna and Yuu but all were not home.

"What a coincidence?" He tried to tell him self when he felt unease. Imagine all of them were out on the same day and time he decided to pay them a visit.

The next house he tried to visit was Hotaru's. As much as he hated to, he had to be there.

Like the rest of the door he tried knocking but still none answer.

"_This is annoying! Don't tell me they're all hiding from me!"_ He thought.

He was losing hope when he remembered Ruka. Maybe he knew where she was.

He tried knocking once and still after some minutes he was still knocking. He refused to give up. Ruka is his only chance of knowing the whereabouts of Mikan.

He was about to turn around when someone opened the door.

"_Ruka_!" He guessed but was totally wrong.

It was a middle-aged woman and judging from what she was wearing he concluded that she was a maid.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked.

"Yes. I'm a friend of Ruka, is he there?" He tried asking as polite as he can even though was annoyed to death.

"He's not here at the moment. Today is his wedding day. Didn't he invite you?" The maid replied

"Are you sure!? What church?" He asked trying to get an immediate answer.

"It's the Tokyo Church." She said and Natsume took that as a go signal to run.

"_How could Ruka do this? I'm his best friend and he didn't even bother inform me_!" He thought while he was driving his way to the church.

His mission of finding Mikan turned out to a new mission. Now he got to find Ruka too!

And boy is he gonna have some explaning to do.

The church was decorated with sakura flowers. Its petal was scattered everywhere. What a grand wedding it must have been. The guests were already dining for the reception, which was also held just on the yard of the church.

He walked and met some familiar faces. Although he tried to restrain himself from feeling anything, at this time he was feeling a bit out of place. He was Ruka's best friend. Did all that years of being friend meant nothing to him. He could have at least tried to inform him if he didn't want to invite him.

In some distance he could see Yuu, Anna and Nonoko sitting on the same table, they were eating and talking. He also saw Koko and Sumire talking in some area.

He searched for the person he intended to hear some reasons. And he moved his head looking for him, he locked his gaze at the blond man talking to some people, moving from table to table, entertaining them.

"_Ruka…"_ He thought

He was still far away from them when something caught his eyes.

It was a girl, no, a woman, she was the bride judging from her dress. She was standing far away from the rest of them, just smiling sweetly. If you look at her carefully, you could see that she almost seemed perfect: those perfect curves, perfect posture, perfect dress. But that didn't matter to him, he looked at her face. It was the face that keep visiting him every night. How he long for her. He felt his legs weaken and his hands were shaking.

"Mikan!"

_I find her standing in front of the church  
the only place in town where I didn't search  
She looks so happy in her weddingdress  
but she's crying while she's saying this_

She looked at me, confused and shocked.

"Natsume?" Mikan asked.

But he didn't hear her. His thoughts were completely blocked. How could she be? She's the bride?

"Natsume" She managed to say before she walk hesitantly to him.

"It's been such a long year. How'd you been?" She asked sweetly, softly.

Natsume could hear the shattering of his heart. How could this happened. He never thought in his wildest dream that his best friend would marry his first and true love. He felt betrayed although it was partly his fault why this end up this way. There was this twitch of pain in his heart, and soon it was hard for him to keep his eyes dry, but he tried his best, saving some pride that he still have.

"Why?" It's the only word that Natsume could manage to say at this time.

"What do you mean why?" Asked Mikan who was still smiling sweetly but tears were starting to flow on her cheeks, either she was unaware of it or she's just trying to ignore them.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" Natsume said as his bangs covered not only his face but the hurt was clearly pasted on it.

"I'm soo soo tired Natsume…" She answered.

How could he just ask her that? After all the things she went through just because of him. She wasn't sure when she decided to marry Ruka. It was just she'd been hurt all these years, she'd been waiting for him to long, she deserves to be happy too right? Ruka had been trying to provide her with all the feeling she ached from Natsume. And yeah! He's been trying but until this point she wasn't sure if he did succeeded. She knew it was Natsume she loved. How could she still be hurt until now if she didn't love him anymore? But like any human, she grew tired of waiting.

_Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is  
twentyfive minutes too late  
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are  
twentyfive minutes too late_

Why did he have to come to her now? Why not yesterday or early this morning? Now, she could not decide anymore, she had no choice. She's Ruka's wife and he is her husband.

_Against the wind I'm going home again  
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends_

_It's already past 9 o'clock. Natsume wanted to go to the graduation party. He was all set and he walking his way to Hotaru's room but before he could reach his destination he had to stop. He didn't want to see Mikan again, it would only make it hard for him to see her leave._

_He sat down under his usual spot._

_But he heard the voice that had been with him for years._

"_Natsume, why are you here? Don't you want to join the party?" Mikan asked._

"_No…" He said quietly._

"_Ohhh… O.K." She replied and sat beside him. He decided not to shove her away and just savour the moment._

_After sometime Mikan started talking…_

"_Natsume, I have something to say to you." Mikan began._

"_What?"_

"_All these years I- - I - - lov- - loveyou!" Mikan blurted out nervously._

_He wanted to say yes, he'd been in love with her for 1 year now. But what if it's not love? He didn't want to be tied to a relationship that he wasn't sure of. Or what if he did love Mikan but then it turned that she realize that she didn't like him. He certainly didn't want to take that risk._

_So he said…_

"_I don't…"_

_Chorus:  
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is  
twentyfive minutes too late  
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are  
twentyfive minutes too late_

"Am I too late?" Natsume asked with a breaking voice.

"I've missed you so much but Ruka is now my husband." She said to him as dry as she could. It would be the best thing for them. They could never be together.

"Natsume!" Ruka called out.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this. I loved Mikan for a long time and when you didn't take your chance, I thought I'd take mine." Ruka explained.

"I see." Was the two last word Natsume said and walked away, leaving his heart that was still captured by Mikan though it's hard for him to put it back together now that it's shattered to pieces.

-The End-

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Aiyen's Note:** I hope you like it. It's the first story. Well bye! I was planning in making it a bit longer but sadly time is something I don't have right now. So please read and review and see you in the next story!**

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	2. I Will Always Love You!

Aiyen's Note:** Sorry for the late update! Enjoy!**

**Title:** I Will Always Love You!

**Author: **Aiyen

**Rating:** K+

**Pairing:** Natsumikan

**Song:** I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

**Anime:** Gakuen Alice

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gakuen Alice / Alice Academy

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_Text here - flashback / thoughts_

_Text here - lyrics of the song_

Text here - normal point of view

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**I Will Always Love You!**

Mikan was sitting on _their _favorite Sakura tree. She could be doing something now with Hotaru or Yuu or even Ruka but she choose to be there. She was hoping that a certain flame caster would come there as he used to do.

She was not exactly Natsume's girlfriend but then she was his girl. It just doesn't make sense to her. But she was happy on how things are turning out. But just a few days ago her luck was starting to fade and run out.

"It wasn't his fault…" Mikan said to herself while tears are starting to form in her innocent and confuse eyes.

"Why did he have to feel so guilty?" She asked, hoping that someone would hear her out and answer.

It was so silent that she felt unease with her own self. She could feel the cold wind wrap around her and she embrace it fully, not minding on how cold it was. It was the only company she had. She imagined it was Natsume she was hugging right now and not her own knees.

She felt a hand around her shoulder. Her tears vanished and a smile was on her face. It was Natsume, she knew that her waiting would not be for nothing.

She turned around to face him and that smile soon fade and was replace with disappointment when she found out it was Ruka.

"Oh, Hi there Ruka!" She smiled bitterly.

"You know you shouldn't be out here. It's freezing here, you'll catch a cold." He said as he placed a jacket around her.

"It's o.k. I'm fine." Mikan replied as she held the jacket tighter around her.

"Are you sure?" Ruka smiled so sweetly.

"Real- - -achu!" She may act o.k but she had been sneezing a lot a while ago.

They just laughed together, unknown to them someone was watching them nearby.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Natsume was not liking what he's seeing, whether he would admit it or not. _His_ Mikan was with Ruka, they look just so sweet and perfect together.

He smiled bitterly. It's what he wanted, for Mikan to find someone better for her, someone that would take care of her, would keep her safe, maybe, someone that would replace him.

Wait- -…. That last part was supposed to be correct, right? So why did he felt pain and emptiness inside? He did want someone to replace him. He thought it would be better if she was with someone who would do her no harm, unlike him to seem to magnetize danger.

He decided to call it a day and just head to his room. But before he could take a single step, he turned around and looked at Mikan for the last time. He was in so much pain, so much pain!

"_I love her for 6 long years…"_ He thought as a single tear manage to escape from his crimson eyes that was now blurred with the tears he tried to hold on.

It doesn't seem fair for Natsume. He didn't choose this kind of alice, he didn't choose this kind of lifestyle. But no matter how he deny the existence of his alice, it will always prevail, there's nothing he can do, it was part of a part of him he hated.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

After a deep slumber, Mikan finally opened her eyes. She was sitting on her bed for quite a while. She didn't care if she would be late. She wanted to stay in her room, that way she would feel protected. But who was she kidding? It was only with Natsume that she felt safe, even if everything starts to crumble, she would gladly accept her fate as long as she's with her so-called ahm, boyfriend.

She finally looked at the clock sitting beside her. She decided to finally prepare herself and attend school. She didn't want her friends to worry about her.

She was now walking slowly when she caught a glimpse of someone. Her body soon followed that someone when it started walking away.

"Natsume!" She called out and started walking to where he was.

"Natsume…" She said sadly, still following him when he didn't even bother look at her.

It was somewhere in the woods that he finally stop. She guessed he wanted to talk to her properly and some place where no one could disturb them.

"Natsume…" She called out again. She was practically standing at his back; he was so near yet so far.

"Why are you avoiding me Natsume?" Mikan asked, direct to the point. She couldn't help it, she was suffering a lot.

"I'll only bring you harm…" He said coldly, he did not bother look at her. He didn't want to see her pain, the pain he caused.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"You were almost killed because of me…" He replied. He tried to suppress his emotion. It would be easier that way.

"At least face me darn it!!" Mikan shouted at her.

He did turn around and Mikan could see that what he's doing is against his will, she could clearly see.

"It wasn't your fault that Persona tried to kill me." She tried to defend him.

_If I  
Should stay  
I would only be in your way  
So I'll go  
But I know  
I'll think of you every step of  
the way_

"No matter how much we pretend, it was my fault." He told her.

"But, you'll be there to protect me, right? And- - and I'm alright!" She said while sobbing.

"Yes, you are safe, for now. But what if they try to kill you again to blackmail me in doing their dirty work?" He tried to reason out with her.

But it was of no use because she had closed her mind, and refuse to understand.

"Then, save me again!" She quickly replied.

"What if I can't?"

She became silent, her bangs were covering her face but you could clearly see the tears that were running down her cheeks.

_And I...  
Will always  
Love you, oohh  
Will always  
Love you  
You  
My darling you  
Mmm-mm_

"Don't cry Mikan, I'm not worthy." He said. He wanted to comfort her so much but what he's doing is only for her own good.

"Don't you love me anymore?" Mikan asked him on his face, he could clearly see her tears.

He wiped it with his fingers and trailed it along the fine side of her face.

"I love you Mikan, so much." He said in a low and tender voice.

"So why?" She asked.

"You haven't change over the years, your still the idiot girl I knew." He smirked.

"Stop fooling around!" She cried even more. This is not a laughing matter, she was dying inside.

"I'm sorry Mikan. I love you that's why I don't want you to get hurt." He tried explaining.

_Bittersweet  
Memories  
That is all I'm taking with me  
So good-bye  
Please don't cry  
We both know I'm not what you  
You need_

He turned around and began walking, meaning their conversation is over, they are over.

"But you're the one who's hurting me Natsume!" She shouted.

He stop for a while but continued walking.

She was in so much pain that she wish she would just be killed by anyone. She didn't really care if Persona would kill her, as long as it's for Natsume, she would gladly lay down her life.

"But you can't see it Natsume…" She said in a low voice.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It's been days since Natsume walk out of Mikan's life.

_I hope  
life treats you kind  
And I hope  
you have all you've dreamed of  
And I wish you joy  
and happiness  
But above all this  
I wish you love_

"I hope you will be happy with Ruka, Mikan…" He said from afar.

She thought she heard Natsume's voice. She stood up from her sit and walk out of the classroom she was in. She looked for him but found nothing. So that was really it, Natsume did left her.

She was about to turn around when a she noticed a piece of paper.

She open it and read.

_Be happy always polkadots. Forget about me and continue living your life as it was before you met me. I know you wouldn't understand it now, but hey, that brain of yours has low capacity. So smile! Be happy with Ruka!_

Tears began to roll on her once dry cheeks.

"_Don't you see it's you I need, not Ruka."_ She thought as she crumpled up the letter.

"_Even if you won't come back in my life, I'm still yours_"

-The End-

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Aiyen's Note: **There I'm done! I'm planning in updating my other stories also as fast as I can. I'm trying to put as many chapters as I can coz' we don't have a class for 1 week due to the fiesta. I'm also trying to put here some oneshots. But I'm kinda feeling lazy, so maybe I'll write some later. **

**If you want to request a song fic then just leave a review on what song it is and/ or about the story or maybe just the title. I'll do my best for all of you! Please read and review..**


	3. Regret

Aiyen's Note: **Hope you enjoy this. And Belated Happy Birthday to truc.mi (Crystal)**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gakuen Alice/ AliceAcademy and the songs I used in the previous chapters.

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**Regret**

"_Was it really that wrong to lie to them, to lie to her?"_

Mikan seemed dead as she listened to Jinno-sensei discussing their current topic in Math, or more like starring at him. She scribbled some equations written on the board before Jinno-sensei started mumbling how on earth he came up with those things.

She glanced at her seatmate, the ever-so handsome Natsume Hyuuga. And before she knew it, her glance turned into a stare. Over the years, she had finally been able to admit to herself that he did have some looks he can show off. Another realization was her feelings for him. Although it was mutual, she still had to gather the courage before letting him know that.

"What are you starring at polkadots?" Natsume suddenly asked her as he lowered his manga.

"I wasn't starring. I was just thinking…" She pretended to concentrate on Jinno-sensie's discussion.

"I doubt with your capability, you can think of something straight." He smirked as he insulted her, yet again.

"Why do you always have to insult me?" She shouted at him.

Suddenly all eyes were fixed on Mikan who just realized what she did. Worse, even Jinno-sensei glared at her for disturbing the class.

Sweat trailed the edges of her face, sliding down from her forehead. To be frank, she was super nervous, who wouldn't? It's her 3rd time to get in trouble just this week.

Luckily, someone stepped in from the door. He was panting hard and he had a worried look on his face.

"Natsume, can I talk to you outside?" Narumi-sensei said, letting out a smile to reassure them everything was fine, the students doubt it was a genuine at all.

Mikan was so thankful she got off the line this time. The discussion continued off smoothly. Every eye was again focused on Jinno-sensei.

But there was this kind of feeling Mikan had. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it sure made her restless. She had the feeling something bad was about to happen.

"_Must they always find out everything?"_

Mikan let out a few sigh, not noticing the few eyes that were starring at her.

"Ne, Mikan-chan are you all right?" Anna asked her.

"Of course!" She stood from her sit and did a few arm stretching to show how energetic she was.

"Idiot." Hotaru commented.

She wanted to cry out or sulk over Hotaru's insult but she just couldn't. Her restlessness was bugging her. Ever since Narumi-sensei called Natsume, she was being troubled.

Speaking of Natsume, she didn't see him again after class. Was he in trouble again? Did she felt troubled because of that?

"_After this, I know they'll be waiting for me, she'll be waiting for me. I know she will! I must survive."_

She walked along the corridor with her heavy footsteps. She only stopped when she reached her destination, in front of a door that was different from everybody else'. She knocked twice, but no one answered.

So she just had to open it, she couldn't let her efforts of coming down here be futile.

"Natsume-kun?" Mikan tried to call hoping that he was just asleep.

"Geez… Where did that guy run to?" She let out a frustrated.

"_I'm running in this place I know nothing of. Is this really my fate? As much as I try to run, they'll always come after me. As much as I try to hide, they'll always find me. As much as I try to resist, they'll always force me._

_I see a lot of people, their faces as cold as mine. But I could feel it, they are as confused as me of what lies ahead after this. I just want to go back and say at least a decent goodbye"_

She was about to walk away when someone called her name from the other side of the corridor. She turned around to see Narumi-sensei smiling bitterly at her.

"Are you looking for him?" Mr. Narumi asked her as they took a walk, where they were heading was a question she couldn't figure out.

"Who? Natsume?" She eyed him.

"I know you care for him- - "

"What? Why would I care for him? He always calls me names and is always cold? Hahaha…" She faked a nervous laugh when she noticed he was still emotionless as before, far different than the usual Narumi-sensei.

"Mikan…" His voice was low but still it echoed, holding a message of something bad that's yet to happen.

"_Can she feel what I feel now? Maybe she does. We always shared a special connection. I wish she could also feel how much I cared for her."_

"Narumi-sensei you're scaring me! Is there something you want to tell me?" Her voice trembling.

"It's about Natsume…" He replied looking out in space.

"What about him? Does this have something to do about you calling him this morning?" She felt her breathe getting heavy.

"_Who am I kidding? I will never survive this. I wonder if she'll still think of me after I'm gone?"_

"He's in a mission right now that could decide not only his fate but also the academy…" He started.

Mikan continued to listen.

"You see, he is fighting now together with the dangerous ability and other forces of the academy against the AAO. Who ever wins decides it all." His voice was calm but behind it was a feeling of worry.

What Mikan heard explained why she felt restless a while ago.

"I must tell the others. We're going to go and help him!" Mikan ran as soon as she spoke.

"_I'm hiding somewhere, its all black. The enemies haven't found me yet. This is my last chance to sneak out and go back to the academy. They must at least hear out what I have to say. I must let them know how I treasured the friendship I have with them and how it gave me the will to live._

_I must go and tell her how I really feel about her. Then after, I'll go back here and accept what ever fate has for me."_

"No, don't tell them yet. It's what Natsume requested before he left. There's nothing we can do but hope." He said as he grab Mikan's wrist.

"What! No! You don't expect me to just sit around! I won't reast until I assure Natsume's not going to- - -"

"_I'm running, heading for the academy when suddenly something hit me from behind_. _I can feel it pierce through my chest. This is it… I'm going to- -."_

"die…" She didn't know why but that last word left a pang of pain in her heart. As if it was Natsume's condition.

" _I feel my body crush to the ground. I just wish I was more honest with here about my feelings then I wouldn't have regretted dying now." _

-The End-

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Aiyen's Note**: Kind of confusing? Those italized parts are Natsume's thoughts during the fight in the future. Those parts written in normal point of view happened before the fight and some are during the fight.**

**Please read and review.**


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